She was the most ordered person I ever knew, and it made an impression on me. I often wondered how she would have dealt with children, but she got sick before we were ready for them, and by then it was too late. I suspect they would have driven her to distraction at first, but then her will would have taken over and she would have turned them into perfect little ladies and gentlemen. Do you have a wife, Damon? Any children?”“I’m divorced and we weren’t together long enough to consider. “Do you run often?” Lidia asked, pulling me away from my thoughts.“I try to get a run in every other day, but I haven’t gotten to in over a week.” I answered, smiling to myself at the reason for my neglect. A small part of me felt guilty that I had let things with Rach get in the way of my training; but that small part was shouted down by a chorus of giddy hormones. A few seconds in a triathlon just didn’t come close to the experiences I had shared with Rach these past two weeks.“How about. . and didn't want anyone to see me. Once in the men's room I sat in a stall and balled my eyes out for a good 15mins. I felt much better afterwards, but couldn't remember breaking down crying like that, except as a child. I did keep my weekly appointment with Ben, and mentioned my recent behaviour. He tried to reassure me that I was doing very important work with him, and that it would be a tragedy to quit.The weekend came and Jill and I had planned to just chill out and spend quality time. But somehow it had all fallen apart. Just as I was about to hit sixteen, sweet sixteen as everyone calls it, Mom and Dad separated and within months she moved in her boyfriend plumber, someone she had been secretly seeing for months.I know now, hell, I even knew then, that it wasn't just a matter of assigning blame, that relationships are so much more complicated, but still I came out of their breakup fixing the blame squarely on Dad.I knew he loved me, always had and always would, but somehow.
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